Is your sex life slowly rolling downwards? If you’re losing interest or if sex simply doesn’t excite you and your partner anymore, don’t lose hope! There are ways to keep it going and to improve the experience. Don’t look far; we’ve already gathered five effective sexual tips for couples to light a fire in the bedroom. Keep reading our guide right here to learn how you can turn a mundane evening into a night of romance:
- Communicate More
A healthy sex life involves consistent communication. Don’t pent up dissatisfaction and issues. Discuss things with your partner.
If you can, set aside time to talk to one another about sex. You’ve already seen each other naked; what else is there to hide?
Sure, it can seem awkward at first but get the conversation going. Learn how to become open with your partner.
Not sure what you need to talk about? Here are a few topics you should bring up:
Fantasies and Dislikes
Improve sexual health by staying open about the non-vanilla things that turn you on.
Are you or your partner into rough sex, BDSM, or breathplay but afraid to talk about it? Don’t hide it! Discuss your fantasies and dislikes with each other to better understand what turns each other on.
Focus first on your fantasies. You can then decide whether you’re both up to giving these things a try.
Now you can discuss dislikes and sex ideas that you or your partner don’t enjoy. You can decide whether to try breaking those barriers or keeping them off the table.
Communicate During Sex
Communication doesn’t end before and after sex. It should continue going even during sex. In fact, a large portion of sex involves constant communication.
No, this isn’t about talking dirty to your partner, although that works too!
Moaning, grunts, tapping, scratching, soft biting, and hugging are all forms of communication during sex. Pay attention to these signals because they will notify you whether your partner loves what you’re doing or if it’s time to shift to something else. Of course, voicing out these concerns during sex is fine too.
Make Boundaries Clear
Before you and your partner continue, make sure to discuss boundaries. Make these as clear as day. This isn’t solely a sex health tip but also a way to guarantee no one feels violated or hurt.
Keep in mind there are two kinds of boundaries. There are soft boundaries, the ones you feel comfortable pushing but only to a certain limit. There are also hard boundaries, which you should never cross.
If you will push boundaries, make sure to have a safe word. For some couples, the word “no” won’t matter because it’s part of rough sex. To avoid confusion, a safe word will immediately let the other person know it’s time to stop.
That safe word has to be something both can easily say, even when gagged. Words like “banana” or “peaches” work well.
- Take Your Time
One of the most important intimacy tips is to take your time. Don’t rush sex and foreplay! If you want to enjoy it and make sure your partner has fun too, take it slow.
Remember that it’s not solely about pleasing yourself. Don’t penetrate, release, and then call it a day. Spend time pleasing your partner too so that you both get to enjoy the moment together.
How Long Do People Have Sex?
Can’t last longer than a few minutes in sex? Don’t fret because it’s not as big of an issue as you’d think.
Not sure how long you should last? Check out this article for a good estimate. The studies mentioned state an average of 33 minutes is the accepted average.
That average isn’t solely for sex, either. It includes nearly 20 minutes of foreplay.
If you do want to make it last over that average, inject a few minutes of rest. Talk, cuddle, and then pick things right where you left off. Before you know it, it’ll be an hour or more.
How to Keep Sex Entertaining
Not sure how to keep going or how to keep sex interesting? It’s more than penetration, after all. That’s only one part of sex, so don’t ignore all the other factors that come into it.
There’s a lot to explore when it comes to engaging sex.
Explore with different kinds of foreplay. Experiment with toys and BDSM (more on that below). Listen to your partner’s signals and try to respond to keep things going.
- Experiment and Explore
Want to make sex more exciting? Try to experiment with things outside the boundaries of vanilla sex.
Don’t worry; dabbling into BDSM or using sex toys doesn’t eliminate intimacy. Some people fear that rough sex or experimenting with fantasies isn’t intimate, but that’s far from the truth. Doing these things can still be as intimate as you want.
BDSM and Roleplaying
A lot of couples engage in BDSM and roleplaying. Don’t look at it like some taboo experiment. A lot of people are into domination, submission, and playing different kinds of roles in bed.
You don’t have to try anything painful or outside your boundaries. Sometimes, all it takes is a blindfold or comfortable cuffs to spice up your sex life.
Keep in mind that BDSM isn’t solely about pleasing a “master” and total submission. It’s about building trust and fulfilling each other’s fantasies. There’s a level of intimacy that comes from being bound and blindfolded, and trusting your partner can turn you on in such a fragile state.
Take It Outside
Among the best sex tips to experiment with is to have sex outside the bedroom.
No, this doesn’t mean you need to risk having sex in the shopping mall dressing stall or workplace bathroom. Those are still fun ideas, but you don’t have to take it that far!
Instead, why not have sex in the kitchen or the living room? Have you tried it in the shower or the car? Even if the sex is the same, exploring other places can make the whole experience feel fresh and exciting.
Try Some Toys
Yes, playing with toys is a recommended idea. This goes both ways too. There are sex toys for women and some for men.
Experiment with dildos, vibrators, fleshlights, and more. Even something as simple as a blindfold and a vibrator can take sensual sensations to new heights. Tease your partner, play with them, and get them excited for the actual sex that follows.
Before you buy a toy, make sure that it doesn’t use materials you’re not comfortable with. It also has to be safe to use. Don’t buy a giant dildo if you’re not sure you or your partner can handle it, with or without lubrication!
When sex gets boring, and intimacy fades, why not try a few new sex positions? Even the most mundane shift could significantly alter how you and your partner experience sex.
Take the standard missionary position as a good example. Simply changing things around by lifting her legs above your shoulders can alter how penetration feels. It’s a subtle change, but it gets the job done.
Now, imagine doing that with completely new positions. Fortunately, there are dozens you can try. However, make sure to discuss with your partner and figure out which ones stimulate and which ones feel painful or awkward.
- Scheduled But Intimate
Did you know one of the most effective sexual tips is to schedule sex? Sure, it might sound like something older couples would do, but it can go a long way in building sexual tension.
Scheduled sex for the weekend? Spend each passing day teasing your partner. Get yourself and your partner ready and excited by dressing up, touching each other, and teasing each other with playful chat or text messages.
Doing all of this will build the anticipation for sex. Once the day comes, you know you’re both in for some fun. You’ve both been waiting for it, after all.
- Don’t Skip Masturbating
Some couples don’t like to masturbate with each other. It can feel awkward and embarrassing. If possible, break that barrier and try masturbating with your partner, whether together or with one watching and teasing.
Masturbating can become quite an intimate encounter. It’s also a good way to keep the excitement going, even when afar. Turn on your phone, video call, and have a fun time masturbating and teasing each other!
Follow These Sexual Tips For a Romantic Night
Get romantic and have fun with your partner. Follow these sexual tips to keep things exciting. Discuss, experiment, and take your time!
Of course, these are only some steps to get the most out of your romantic nights. Learn more about BDSM, sex positions, or different toys by going over more of our in-depth lists and posts. We invite you to read our other lifestyle and relationship guides for all the tips you need!